Hello. It's been a very long time since I've posted a new blog entry, and I apologize for that.
Times, they've been a-changin'.
Almost every single circumstance in my life has shifted drastically over the last two years, and I find myself, 6 months after one of these major shifts, finally alternating, not between crying jags, panic attacks, and fights with "service providers" as often as alternating between bouts of creativity, moments of fleeting calm, and still, times of panic and fear.
How do we keep it together when things all seem to hit the fan at once?
They say that positive stressors can be just as taxing on one's body and mind as negative ones. I've got a lot of both. In my case, finding the strength to leave a severely traumatic relationship, losing my job of nearly 13 years due, in part, to my struggles with depression and anxiety, and fighting to keep my home in one of the most expensive places in the country to live, have been taking most of my energy. But positive things are also happening: Starting my own business, finding new opportunities in new industries, making plans to increase my skill set to transition into new roles, getting back to exercise and eating right after several years of the opposite, finding the time to create the backyard oasis I've always wanted (and learning how to lay brick at the same time!) and a new(ish) relationship with someone kind and supportive, have also been taking up my time.
At times like these, we tend to look around us and to identify what's truly important to us.
For me, what's important more than anything else are respect, compassion, kindness, and self-awareness. I've chosen to spend more time alone and less time in groups and with people where I feel not-quite-accepted or supported. It's been lonely at times, sad at times, and frustrating at times, but it also feels very necessary. I've given up some dreams that feel too taxing to continue to follow, and developed some new dreams that feel like a better fit, but are sometimes scary to contemplate because they represent a change in how I see myself and the world.
Most of us at some time or another - and often several times in a lifetime - end up having to reboot our lives. Something's not working. Something ends or begins (most often, both), and we have to adjust. Something pushes us out of the comfort of our nest, and we either fly or plop to another branch, or fall to the ground and walk. Anything to be moving forward.
This is me, moving forward.
What about you? What transitions are you experiencing right now and what good do you think might come of them?
What Is Joy?
Can life really be joyful, even when hard things happen? Maybe not on the surface, but below our pain and fear, below the judgment of ourselves and others, there's a kernel that's an inherent and unstoppable desire to live; to see what happens next. At JATHT, we'll explore life, love, joy, and sorrow and hopefully learn something in the process. Welcome!